Throwback Thursday: Is It Really Mine?

It should be mine...
...but before I make this world my b*tch; I must sift throught the bullshit, shake off the doubt, & focus my energy.
Where I am?
It's hard. It requires out-of-the-box thinking.
The way I've been programmed since birth? Impossible.
My thoughts, wants & needs were not my own. They were instilled in me. No refund or exchange.
Oppose? They dared me to.
I can't deal with kiss a$ses.
I haven't reluctantly puckered up for a$s since my mother's sperm donor (my Father) left for The Sh!tty City.
Where I am now, I adamantly refuse. I don't respect bosses that barely respect themselves, whoring their laughter & fraudulent positivity out to whoever gives them some false hope of further benefits.
Constant change?
Yea, I understand that's life.
Where I am?
It's dictated by balding white collar goons sporting size 46 waists, alligator suitcases & lunch breaks at Lakeview Golf Course.
Today, Morton told me I don't belong here. Jacobs said the same shortly after.
Comfort is one thing, but when I see light a mile away at the end, but destruction & despair within arms reach, I'm working on not being discouraged. I'm teaching myself to persevere.
The measure of a man is not how he conducts himself when things are rosey, but how he reacts when his back is against the wall.
I'm willing to die against the wall. Not limp & hopeless, but defiant & driven.
However, if it is really mine... I won't have to.

"Born alone, die alone,
no crew to keep my crown or throne
I'm deep by sound alone,
Caved inside in a thousand miles from home
I need a new n*gga, for this black cloud to follow,
Cause while it's over me it's too dark to see tomorrow..."

My Mind Spray.

Nas + Kelis = Nas Catching Multiple "L"s

So the court proceedings have apparently come to a close, and according to documents filed in L.A. County Superior Court, upon decision, Nas' payment to Kelis was an imminent $47,249.42 in back child support and $40,454 in back spousal support. That's loss #17 for this dude when it comes to Kelis.
The ever-so-graceful judge also ordered Nasir to pay $10,000/month in spousal support until he pays off the $299,015.50 he owes ol' girl.
On top of that, Mr. Jones has to pay 90% of Kelis’ legal fees, which come to a staggering $155,787.28. Loss #19.
Finally, Nas has to pay $48,549.83 to cover Kelis’ accounting expenses. He wouldn't the first of God's sons to get crucified. This time the only way it saves us all, is by us learning from his mistakes.
Speaking of the lil homie Nas' mistakes, we continuously hear about how much she is raping him for; but never about how much Nas is actually worth. We also dont hear about what he did to have the judge side in her favour, besides the fact she's a woman with a child from this union.
I'm not going to profess to know a great deal about marraige/divorce court but damn, seems a little harsh.
Time to remove the Kelis tattoo on the arm? Maybe so Nas...maybe so.