Slapdash Files: Nicki Minaj Immortalized.

I could name so many things wrong with this.
I'll let you tell it.

It must burn...

Lifestyle Branding: BAPE

Another push into the foray of Lifestyle products and branding, BAPE has recently release chopsticks.

Chopsticks, man.
Nuff Said.

Slapdash Files: Epic Failure

To all the lovely ladies that say n*ggas are single not on their own accord, but because they dont kneel to cats; I present to you...

Your Knight In Shining Armour.

Enjoy Idiots.

Slapdash Files: Apocalypse Now, or in a Few...

I love Chinese people. I got a lot of 'em as friends, but sometimes I have a hard time buying into all the fables and fallacies they adopt & beleive in. From Godzilla to Mothra to Dungeons & Dragons...alright, I got carried away. The above video is a spotlight on the Oarfish, a massive toothless monstrosity, whose body stretches approx 15meters. First sighted of the coast of Bermuda in 1860, these dudes kick it out of sight, dwelling approximately 1000 feet below water level. It is immensely rare to see them, as the only live one caught on camera was in California in the video above.
Why am I posting about Chinese "Sea Serpents"? Well, since November 2009, almost 20 have washed up on the shore of Japan, spooking the hell outta my vertically challenged brethren. Legend has it that whenever this starts happening, it means there is massive earthquakes on the way. This makes sense, cause think about if underwater volcanoes are poppin' off thousands of feet below sea level, all that seismic activity would disrupt their habitat. The Japanese are spooked because seismic activity is most prevalent in their country. Too many signs indicating destruction & demise on the horizon.
I need copious amounts of food & water, 3 bad b*tches for my rotation, & a spaceship so I can be Swayze before sh*t hits the fan on this planet.

Ladies, apply within the comments section...

Do The Knowledge: Masons & Illuminati

The Masonic symbol located on Red - Man's fitted.
Doesn't get more brazen than that.

Don't get it? Look here & Do The Knowledge.

Slapdash Files: A Is For Apple

Growing up, I never got lunches packed for me, but used to scrounge around the house, & put something together on my own. After approx grade 5 or 6 when the father-dude flew the coup, my mother worked soooo much to maintain a certain standard of living for my sister & I. Her being dedicated to that cause had her away from home alot, leaving my sister & I to our own devices.
My sister not being a wiz in the kitchen although she's the older one(chick is on a Kellogg's diet for real), a vast amount of junk food & fast food was consumed. If there was, however, dinner made; for lunch the next day I would sneak the leftovers to school.
More often than not, other kids lunches were light years better than mine, which is where I think I grew this subconcious disdain for leftovers. Anyone that knows me, know I reeeeally don't eff with leftovers. If I do, it's gotta be cooked by Moses with some Jesus seasoning, served by Eva Mendes.
Today leaving the crib, my mom didn't have classes to teach, so she's running around, talking sh*t, doing what mothers do. I get downstairs & there is an apple accompanied by a cup of tea... for me. Not tryna diss, I take both, as she says, "An apple a day lil' n*gga" (Ok fine, she didn't say lil n*gga, but f*ck you too).
I just ate the apple, now that I'm at work, & did some research on 'em. Apples are the sh*t!
Do The Knowledge
"An apple is the perfect portable snack. Eating just one apple a day can reduce a woman's chances of developing breast cancer by 17% according to a study done at Cornell University."
"Apples are loaded with disease lowering antioxidants. Specifically they can help lower your chances of developing cancer and heart disease. They also have vitamins, minerals, fibre and a low GI index. Most of the antioxidants are in the peel so wash them well and eat them fresh or cook them with the peel on. Add apples (cored with the peel on) to pureed soups, pancakes, muffins, or just bake them stuffed with dried cranberries and walnuts." You planning on eating more apples? Here's a little run down on a couple that could catch your eye, and instructions on what to do best with them.

Red Delicious
Flavour: Sweet, juicy; firm
Uses: Excellent for eating fresh; don't cook with them

Empire
Flavour: Sweet and tart, juicy, very crisp
Uses: Excellent for eating fresh or add to a salad. Good for baking.

Idared
Flavour: Sweetly tart, juicy, firm
Uses: Excellent for baking. Good for eating fresh or add to a salad

Gala
Flavour: Sweet
Uses: Excellent for eating fresh

Golden Delicious
Flavour: Mild sweet, juicy, crisp
Uses: Excellent for eating fresh or add to a salad.

Cortland
Flavour: Sweet hint of tartness, juicy
Uses: Excellent for baking

Northern Spy:
Flavour: Sweet, very juicy, crisp
Uses: Excellent for baking

Honeycrisp
Flavour: Sweet, very juicy, crisp
Uses: Excellent for eating fresh

I got my Rachel Ray on today with this Apple Talk

Potentially, Death Row's Waviest

Here's Ashford Thompson, a disgrunted accused cop killer who is having a hard time in jail, pun intended.
Thompson's been running through lawyers and his complaints of getting harrassed in the bin (obv eluding to police brutality) are enough for him to request early execution.
At the end of his rope, that where he feels he is, with ocean like waves in his head, & tears streaming down his face.

Slapdash Files: Kanye & Amber @ LV Show

Pictures snapped at the Louis Vuitton show during Paris Fashion Week has me shaking my damn head.
I understand attendees are competitve in regards to their outfits, but damn homie.
Although ridiculous, I'm actually not mad at him.
I'm still shaking my head tho...

You're Guess As Good As Mine

Somebody point me in the right direction with this one.
I'm lost.

Imagery by David LaChapelle

Snoop D-O Double G @ NYSE

Here's Snoop Dogg opening up the New York Strock Exchange this morning.
Unbelievable.

Damn.

Sammy say it aint so...

Slapdash Files: Raping The Willing

This is why I don't like bitches. Not women, but bitches.
This bitch accussed 4 niggas of running a train on her, but then cell phone footage later vindicated the accused of the charge.

Niggas, stay strapped & aware.

Arbitrary Slapdash: Roman Ship Graveyard

ROME (Reuters) - A team of archaeologists using sonar technology to scan the seabed have discovered a "graveyard" of five pristine ancient Roman shipwrecks off the small Italian island of Ventotene.
The trading vessels, dating from the first century BC to the fifth century AD, lie more than 100 meters underwater and are amongst the deepest wrecks discovered in the Mediterranean in recent years, the researchers said on Thursday.
Part of an archipelago situated halfway between Rome and Naples on Italy's west coast, Ventotene historically served as a place of shelter during rough weather in the Tyrrhenian Sea.
"The ships appear to have been heading for safe anchorage, but they never made it," said Timmy Gambin, head of archaeology for the Aurora Trust (www.auroratrust.com). "So in a relatively small area we have five wrecks...a graveyard of ships."
The vessels were transporting wine from Italy, prized fish sauce from Spain and north Africa, and a mysterious cargo of metal ingots from Italy, possibly to be used in the construction of statues or weaponry.
Gambin said the wrecks revealed a pattern of trade in the empire: at first Rome exported its produce to its expanding provinces, but gradually it began to import from them more and more of the things it once produced.
In Roman times Ventotene, known as Pandataria, was used to exile disgraced Roman noblewomen. The Emperor Augustus sent his daughter Julia there because of her adultery. During the 20th century, Italian dictator Benito Mussolini used the remote island as a prison for political opponents.
Images of the wrecks show their crustacean-clad cargoes spilling onto the seafloor, after marine worms ate away the wooden hull of the vessels.
Due to their depth, the ships have lain untouched for hundreds of years but Gambin said the increasing popularity of deep water diving posed a threat to the Mediterranean's archaeological treasures.

"There is a race against time," he said. "In the next 10 years, there will be an explosion in mixed-gas diving and these sites will be accessible to ordinary treasure hunters."
(Reporting by Daniel Flynn; Editing by Jon Boyle)

This was jacked from:
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/090723/science/science_us_italy_shipwrecks

Let the randomness begin...